Saturday, October 27, 2012

Part 2: Stress....or Blasphemy?

A stressful couple of weeks culminated in  me at home yesterday with a migraine.   In my blog I was sharing my favorite definition of stress and it's impact in my life.  Remember when I mentioned my support group would show me if there are other deeper issues that needed rooted out?  Well God delivered during my quiet time this morning!!!!

Matthew 12:31-32 jumped off the page at me in a way that left me searching for more.  What exactly is 'blasphemy' and why would it be forgiven to blaspheme Jesus but not the Holy Ghost? 

In my KJV study Bible it notes that the main issue was attributing Jesus' miracles as Satan's power rather than from the true source.  Further search of other verses and notes suggest that the unpardonable sin is when you are attributing power/control to anything other than Holy Spirit.  It also states in Mark 3:29 that it puts you in danger of eternal damnation.

As I'm reading it makes me wonder if that is the same thing I've been doing.....attributing control for my life to me rather than with God's Holy Spirit which indwells a person upon trusting Jesus for your salvation.  Why is it that we as humans trust Jesus for salvation but then often want to take back the reigns soon after we handed them over?   Still not sure about the definition of blasphemy or why Holy Spirit takes precedence over Jesus, I grabbed my Zondervan's Handbook of the Bible and Smith's Bible dictionary. 

Zondervan's points out that Jesus's miracles were not about demonstrating his power.  Rather the true intent was about him pointing people to the truth of God's Kingdom.  While our fleshly viewpoint of "kingdom" involves power and wealth, God's kingdom is about mercy and empowering ordinary, weak people just like us to live according to His will.  Jesus speaks of all this in John 14-16.  The Holy Spirit's role is to dwell within us, comfort us, teach us and bring God's Word to remembrance when time is right.  Reproving the world of sin is another important duty.....however, that can only occur through the believers whom He has been actively working in. 

Smith's definition of 'blasphemy' starts off with "speaking evil of" but continues on with other explanations.  It was the last statement in that paragraph that really hit home.  According to that definition blasphemy is "a state of willful, determined opposition to God and Holy Spirit that no efforts will avail to lead to repentance." 

So are my "control issues" stress or good old fashioned blasphemy?  Am I attributing blessings/changes to anything or anyone other than God?   Do I live with even the slightest bit of willful opposition to God and Holy Spirit?  I really hate to even answer those questions!!!!!  And essentially since actions too often speak louder than words am I pointing others to self-control or God's control?  

Friday, October 26, 2012


Hi,  I'm Sherri and I am an obsessive Type A personality!

Does it sound like I'm at a support group?   That's very close to the truth right now!  I am a K-1 Reading Specialist who takes it personally when I can't a) meet the needs of a 200+ building, b) help 14 teachers take on new curriculum/assessment tasks, c) have an organized classroom, d) have an organized house/yard, e) estimate my time constraints, f) be "perfect", g) etc.  For several years I vowed "this year is going to be better!"  Well, "this year" never came! 

 .....until this year.  This summer I realized that my life was creating havoc with my relationships, creating havoc with my health, not allowing me to create new relationships, and not being the joyfilled believer that God intended.  A few years back I read a definition of stress that stated "the perception that you can control something in which you truly have no control over".  Wow, that stopped me dead in my tracks because it is so true.  We often think we are "in control" but truly we are not!  Can anyone human control the weather, illness, death, etc?  Only God can control those things.  The stressed out Sherri comes when I forget that!!!!

So at the beginning of this school year I put some physical boundaries in my life that helped immensely.  Also I put an accountability partner into place who checks in periodically.  This woman is bold and can be brash but that is what I need....and above all I know what she says is out of love!  God is so serious about this change that he has placed her in a position in my school district & placed her in the next door office about once a month! 

Life had been going really well for about 8 weeks.  School was getting a little more demanding but that's to be expected occasionally...especially around report card time.  Last two weeks a couple early meetings and a new thyroid medicine was throwing off my schedule so I missed a few appointments with God and His word.  Then a few "I really need to get in early to finish_________" or "Innkeeper's run before work is sounding really good" and back down the slippery slope I went!!!!!! 

Fast forward to this week of being back into my morning quiet time but VERY cranky and critical. I've reinstituted those boundaries that had waned.  I even quarantined myself in bed with a good book two evenings and on another went to hang out with my neice which are all things that usually help me readjust bad moods but nothing worked.  At first I blamed the lack of sleep and thyroid med which has mood changes listed as a side effect.  Then there are the really bizarre "good vs evil" dreams.  Truth be known I have just switched my unrealistic school expectations to home, have overcommitted myself, and am trying to control things again rather than allow some projects to be on back burner.

I woke up this morning with my neck knotted up, head pounding, and the urge to throw-up.  My roomate noted 'of course you have a migraine. you are beginning to whir yourself up again'.  My paraphrase but she was right.  No matter what external boundaries I put in place it's an internal issue as well!  For me it's a matter of making anything a priority over my morning time with God.  If there is something else that I need to put in place I'm sure my support group will tell me! ;P  Truthfully I am extremely thankful for those women who know me so well and aren't shy about telling me what they think!  Without them I'd hate to think of where I'd end up!

Sidenote:  I have to tell you something my neice is doing.  She is a 2.5 yr old version of me....which is quite entertaining  at least to me.  To her mother...well, that could be a different story!  She has had a language delay and is just now saying my name.  Even though she can say "sh" she pronounces my name as "Harry".   Of course those close would say she's calling me "Hairy" but they are wrong!  "Harry" was my great grandfather's name whom died much too young!  Even though he died when I was around 5 yrs old he left his impact on me for life and I still miss him!  Mom always tells of when I was beginning to talk how Grampa Schweitzer would do something just so he could hear me mimic my great grandma's exasperated "Oh, Harry!"   I wish my  younger(10+ years) male cousins had experienced him in their lives.  They would have loved all the time spent at G'pas Lake!  So my neice can call me "Harry" all of her life because I see that nickname as an honor!