Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Clutter

Does anyone struggle with clutter?  I do!!!   After many years of work related leadership, traveling, house/yard dailies, major health crisis, unfinished projects, etc.  I am left with piles around me at home and at work.  This is STRESSing me out because I'm normally very organized.  At work I'm the one who people would come to ask for the "lost" document because they knew I could lay my hands on my copy in an instant.   Ummmm, I was that person....but now I'm the person looking for the "lost" document!

For me clutter wears heavy on my mind and attitude.  I'm overwhelmed by what I see.  That includes too much pencil in my datebook!  Then I get discouraged and the "why bother" attitude.....or the "snarky, lashing out" attitude that my poor roommate has suffered through of late!  There has been lots of research on physical effects clutter can have on a mind and body.  Typically I could push past the "why bother" attitude to conquer the clutter....even if it just starts by conquering the pencil clutter in my datebook.   My cancer & vitamin deficiencies really took a toll so I'm still trying to make a "come back" physically.  This is only making the usual effects of clutter worse.  I've seen the cycle over and over of what a cluttered bedroom does to my sleep.   A lack of quality/quantity sleep just makes the discouragement worse.  I literally want to crawl into a ball and cry.....which if anyone who knows me is reading this knows it's really odd coming from me!

Interestingly God was speaking to me about this topic this morning.  Then again when I walked into work to an email from Hearts At Home @ cluttered schedules.  It talks about creating margin.  If I'm honest I have struggled wanting to crawl into a ball for several years.  The workplace may have been organized but the organized home was nothing more than a pipedream.  A little over a year ago I read Lisa Terkeurst's Best Yes which is still impacting me.  She also talked about the stress of being so tied to your schedule that you miss those heart stirrings God has placed for you to do.  The things you really want to do IF you had more time.  The things that only you can do because of where God has you placed.  That was a wake up call!!!

My cluttered bedroom stress is just a physical representation of a cluttered heart/soul.  I've filled my heart with things that ought not be....control issues, walls of "got it all together", and a little fear that crept in with the health issues.   This year I gave up the work leadership team and trying to focus more on "being available".  It's been a great decision!  I'm working on regaining my strength & endurance physically.  I'm hanging out with people more instead of hanging out with my datebook & my projects.  Although my "hanging out" time with Him is not at all where it should be.  So now it's time to get to work on conquering the clutter....both physically & spiritually!