tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81526140357660897892024-02-07T13:05:19.405-06:00Musings from Gottadew GardensChooses to see God in her everyday lifeAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04029438617756145456noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8152614035766089789.post-42055489959867758142016-10-26T11:30:00.001-05:002016-10-26T11:30:09.819-05:00ClutterDoes anyone struggle with clutter? I do!!! After many years of work related leadership, traveling, house/yard dailies, major health crisis, unfinished projects, etc. I am left with piles around me at home and at work. This is STRESSing me out because I'm normally very organized. At work I'm the one who people would come to ask for the "lost" document because they knew I could lay my hands on my copy in an instant. Ummmm, I was that person....but now I'm the person looking for the "lost" document!<br />
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For me clutter wears heavy on my mind and attitude. I'm overwhelmed by what I see. That includes too much pencil in my datebook! Then I get discouraged and the "why bother" attitude.....or the "snarky, lashing out" attitude that my poor roommate has suffered through of late! There has been lots of research on physical effects clutter can have on a mind and body. Typically I could push past the "why bother" attitude to conquer the clutter....even if it just starts by conquering the pencil clutter in my datebook. My cancer & vitamin deficiencies really took a toll so I'm still trying to make a "come back" physically. This is only making the usual effects of clutter worse. I've seen the cycle over and over of what a cluttered bedroom does to my sleep. A lack of quality/quantity sleep just makes the discouragement worse. I literally want to crawl into a ball and cry.....which if anyone who knows me is reading this knows it's really odd coming from me!<br />
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Interestingly God was speaking to me about this topic this morning. Then again when I walked into work to an email from Hearts At Home @ cluttered schedules. It talks about creating margin. If I'm honest I have struggled wanting to crawl into a ball for several years. The workplace may have been organized but the organized home was nothing more than a pipedream. A little over a year ago I read Lisa Terkeurst's <u>Best Yes</u> which is still impacting me. She also talked about the stress of being so tied to your schedule that you miss those heart stirrings God has placed for you to do. The things you really want to do IF you had more time. The things that only you can do because of where God has you placed. That was a wake up call!!!<br />
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My cluttered bedroom stress is just a physical representation of a cluttered heart/soul. I've filled my heart with things that ought not be....control issues, walls of "got it all together", and a little fear that crept in with the health issues. This year I gave up the work leadership team and trying to focus more on "being available". It's been a great decision! I'm working on regaining my strength & endurance physically. I'm hanging out with people more instead of hanging out with my datebook & my projects. Although my "hanging out" time with Him is not at all where it should be. So now it's time to get to work on conquering the clutter....both physically & spiritually!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04029438617756145456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8152614035766089789.post-68671029734091033572015-08-07T13:26:00.000-05:002015-08-07T17:51:56.414-05:00a LONG processHi- <br />
It's been awhile! I hope to be back here more regularly! However I'm back to school in another week so not sure what "regular" will look like! <br />
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My blog tends to be about things God has been doing in my life and showing me through it. It's not that He hasn't shown up, rather He has been the only thing holding me up over the last two years! Funny thing is I remember taking a deep breath at the beginning of 2014-15 school year and thinking "finally, my life is returning back to normal & it's going to be a GOOD year!" Well, it was a GREAT year but not in ways one would expect!!!!!<br />
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From November 2013 - June of 2015 life has felt like a Tilt-a-Whirl. I never did like carnival rides because there was a person in control that I did not know NOR trust! This particular Tilt-a-Whirl ride was crazy & precarious.....YET I knew my God was in control and He was teaching me about TRUST! Two things I struggle relinquishing!<br />
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If you've not followed this blog all along you might want to go back and reread some to understand the last two years. Anyway, the evening I found out that I had endometrial cancer I have to say I was in a bit of a fog. All I knew is that I had to tell the people I loved without losing it! I really didn't have time to process it. All I could think was I needed to form a plan but with so many unknowns I didn't know where to start. So that next morning while still in a fog, my daily quiet time had me in Acts 27. As I was numbly reading, several verses leapt off the page at me: "God of whose I am and whom I serve", "unless you abide in the ship, you can't be saved", and "not a hair from your head will be harmed". <br />
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The first two verses were all I needed for "a plan". It was no accident that I was reading there because that was exactly the reassurance I needed. He had my full attention. I know this might seem odd but ask many who are saved and daily reading the Bible. This is how He communicates with us through good times and bad! And in my 50 years I have learned that His ways are SOOOOOO much better than mine!!!!<br />
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Acts 27 was a great reminder of who I am and what I needed to do! I just needed to focus on Him, not fear this diagnosis, and just keep about the purpose He's placed me in. The last verse.....well,I was not certain it was a promise I could claim. Maybe it was just my vain, wishful thinking? So I went about my job, daily routines/responsibilities, medical appointments/tests, & enjoying family/church/friends. If you didn't notice that I looked 13 months pregnant with twins, you'd never know that anything was wrong! There were minor issues that I'd been dealing with but nothing totally terrible. On the bright side I developed a brand new stretchy wardrobe that can adjust through 3 sizes!<br />
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By mid-April we knew that it had been caught early, I had to have surgery mid May, and it was possible that I might need chemo or radiation but still not probable. May 11th I awoke early afternoon in recovery to realize that the discomfort I'd been feeling was gone, a big part of the swelling was gone, & I didn't have a big incision. All huge blessings....and then I went back to sleep! ;) Next day Dr came in to tell me that it was Stage 1, contained, and believe it was all gotten. The tumor was larger than they thought which caused some tears and appeared to be just moving into another stage. Though he wasn't planning to take a lymph they did take one to verify that the cancer had not spread. My only question was if he'd okay me to try fly-fishing for the first time. He thought I was kidding!<br />
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So more unknowns but three weeks later I found out that lymphs were all clear and no radiation/chemo were necessary. I was going to get to keep my hair! I was not going to have to be stuck with needles and have IV's which I HATE with a passion!!!!! God is amazing! <br />
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Interestingly the hardest part for me was recovery! I didn't struggle with the resting as I had imagined. It could be a bit frustrating at times but I had no options! My body was exhausted and weak beyond what I had ever imagined. I am so thankful my school told me to end my year on medical leave!!! After 4 weeks when I should have been bouncing back<span style="font-size: x-small;">(well, I thought I should have been),</span> I was just starting to have symptoms from the surgery, severe vertigo, severe exhaustion, and fear.<br />
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The physical recovery wasn't the hard part, rather it was the mental. I feared I would never get back to my personal normal. I truly thought I would not be able to take this celebratory trip I had planned. That was something I'd not experienced before! "I can't" & "can you do this for me?" was never in my vocabulary before so this was a scary experience! I had to constantly face the fears with God's truth and push through. I had to work past a whiny attitude that irritated even me! I had no right to whine because SOOO MANY others had worst circumstances than I! Even with mom's recovery I didn't know what to expect so I took it one day at a time. However, I was told by my surgeon "oh you'll be back to overdoing it AND you can't!" That truly wasn't the case for me! Truth is that he scared me a little and I do not scare easily! I am just now getting back to a little more than half of my normal pace without naps. ;)<br />
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Beginning of July I did take that trip to Gatlinburg, TN. One of my goals was to try something new; fly-fishing in a National Park river. BEST THING EVER!!!! Beautiful scenery, going with my best friend, trying something new in my 50's, & having the most patient guide in TN! I actually caught two.....purely by accident too! Casting was easy but the "setting the fish" was something altogether I did not get the feel for! Thankfully my sister traipsed through the forest with us getting some of the best pictures ever!!!! You can actually tell how stressed I was in the pictures at the beginning because I truly didn't believe I could do this physically. Soon in the pictures you can tell I was stress-free and having fun. In fact there was a point where I was in tears all alone because I was so thankful that I was able to take part in God's amazing beauty! I remember walking up out of the river at the end with a huge smile exclaiming to my bestie & my sis "I did it! Love it & can't wait to show my surgeon the pictures!" <br />
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I am back! AND better than before because of the grace of God!!!!<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04029438617756145456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8152614035766089789.post-13408697396620756972015-07-24T10:00:00.000-05:002015-07-24T10:00:31.439-05:00the biteDeep thoughts as I am gardening today...<br />
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Have you ever noticed how mosquitoes hang out in the darker, shady areas of your yard? Not the sunny, light areas? As I am sitting in my beautiful but shady Godspot beginning my daily quiet time, I am swatting at the buzzing in my ears. It's very distracting and makes it hard to hear God speaking through His Word.<br />
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Then it struck me..... isn't that the same with sin? It is often those shady areas where we have trouble discerning God's voice. We also have the constant barrage of the world's voices buzzing in our ears. Sin is rarely just the neon sign proclaiming all it's worldly pleasures! It ALWAYS starts with one "seemingly innocent" choice that leads us on a really bad path. <br />
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Eventually just like the mosquito, sin bites too! Sometimes that bite is just an annoying, temporary sting. BUT like those disease carrying mosquitoes, sin too often can leave permanent damage.<br />
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Since we have had a rainy summer we have a lot of mosquitoes. Most of them found to be carrying West Nile Virus. So now along with my morning routine I spray my yard before going out. Nowadays we have spray that will give you a 99.9% guarantee of getting rid of mosquitoes. Yes we are still human and mess up! Yet, if you are daily reading and applying the Bible to your life you can have that same guarantee against sin! Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04029438617756145456noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8152614035766089789.post-20095212670953744532015-07-22T14:20:00.002-05:002015-07-22T14:20:29.411-05:00Wilderness Wandering<strong><em>This is one from end of November 2013 I was working on but never got posted:</em></strong><br />
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I might have mentioned this before but I have never understood how a people who could see, taste, smell, and feel God's provisions could not trust him for the dailies! As I have been reading it again this year I am starting to understand that it is a choice. Are you going to choose to focus on the circumstances that you are currently in or are you going to choose to see how God is working in the midst of those circumstances?<br />
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The beginning of October God began to convict me on two areas of my life: 'covetousness' & 'choosing to see Him" despite life's circumstances. Conviction came through my daily reading in Numbers. My coveting was not about "things". I have always been a control freak so for me coveting is about wanting control over my daily life instead of allowing God. A word study led me to Hebrew 13:5.<br />
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It is no coincidence that God had me in that particular spot! I believe that He was preparing me for what was ahead.<br />
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Then November 1 he drove it deeper by my living in ICU with mom for 1.5 weeks. As terrifying as it was I can also say what a blessing that experience was because I learned how to trust Him deeper. God is STILL always there but we have to make a choice to see Him and how He is at work! AND we have to make the choice to trust that His ways are right not ours! <br />
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Maybe I am strange but looking back I am thankful for those trials in my life. I often learn the most effective lessons through them! I love how God uses His Word to teach! <span style="background-color: white;">No more than a few days after realizing for the first time that the Isrealites simply were not choosing to see</span> I got a phone call saying my mom was at the Emergency Room and they were going to lifeflight her to Peoria. I got a first hand lesson in how we humans still have to "choose to see" Him amidst the chaos.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04029438617756145456noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8152614035766089789.post-43291524417665376962015-03-05T22:29:00.000-06:002015-03-05T22:29:05.189-06:00Blessed AssuranceThis morning I woke up with the tune of Blessed Assurance running through my head. Now for those of you who don't know me well....I am NOT musically inclined in any way!!! I might hear a well loved tune and be able to name it but I would be lucky to tell you the words to any part of a verse. So I googled that song. The words are really interesting given all that is happening in my life right now!<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><em>Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine;</em></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><em>Oh what a foretaste of glory divine!</em></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><em>Heir of salvation, purchase of God,</em></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><em>Born of His spirit, washed in His blood.</em></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><em>This is my story, this is my song.</em></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><em>Praising my Savior all the day long.</em></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><em>This is my story, this is my song</em></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><em>Praising my Savior all the day long.</em></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><em>Perfect submission, all is at rest,</em></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><em>I in my Savior am happy and blest;</em></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><em>Watching and waiting, looking above,</em></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><em>Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.</em></span><br />
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After looking at the words I know why it is playing! God has me in a very unusual place today. 2.5 weeks ago I was told I had cancer. This had not been a disease that runs in either side of my families. A little over 2 months ago I was told one of my paternal aunts has cancer....ironically it was the same day that my doctor discovered an oddity at a regular visit! A week ago I was told that the prognosis is they caught it EXTREMELY early...surgery preliminary test reveal that it is a Stage 2 at the most and lymph nodes appear normal. In fact they are shocked at how early it was detected because generally this cancer is not detected until it's reached a Stage 4.<br />
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Looking back over some of my old blogs I can see why He was showing me so much about the Old Testament believers! I was about to embark into some trials that I needed much preparation for!!!!!!! During my mother's heart issues and recovery He taught me volumes. It is because of the past two years that I now face my own upcoming surgery with Blessed Assurance running through my mind....and being belted out around the house! I should apologize to my neighbors for the noise infractions! Luckily they are all my family!!!<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04029438617756145456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8152614035766089789.post-52313098279708199602014-02-05T11:35:00.006-06:002014-02-05T11:35:57.596-06:00"Heavenly Storehouses Laden With Snow"Anyone who knows me knows that I love SNOW!!!!! As I sit here on my 8th SNOW day and looking out on 15"+ in my yard, I find Chris Tomlin's lyrics of "Indescribable" tumbling around my head. But today it is more than just the line about heavenly storehouses of snow<span style="font-size: x-small;">(which I can't wait to see)</span>!<br />
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<em>All powerful, untameable,<br /> Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim<br /> You are amazing God</em></div>
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<em>Incomparable, unchangeable<br /> You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same<br /> You are amazing God<br /> You are amazing God</em></div>
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Yesterday was a destination on a very long, uncertain journey! It was the last appointment with my mom's cardiac/thoracic surgeon. As mom walked in on her own, this wonderful man was so happy that he was almost giddy. In fact my first reaction was "oh my, he has TOO MUCH espresso in that coffee". To understand how incredibly funny his response was to seeing mom you would have had to been there for their first meeting! <br />
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On October 26, 2013 my mother had a slight-moderate heart attack which was not detected right away but another great doctor kept her in the hospital until he figured out what exactly was going on. They actually thought it might be gallbladder attack. When they did determine it was a heart issue they sent her to a bigger hospital where a stent could be placed in one of her veins. Two-three days they were going to dismiss her but for one reason or another they did not. Seven days later she was being dismissed. As she was getting ready in her hospital room for my dad to pick her up, she went into cardiac arrest. Totally unforeseen by all the tests she had! Minutes later I received a phone call from the hospital chaplain stating she "coded and they are working on her. Get here now!".<br />
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November 1, 2013 she was rushed into an emergency open heart surgery. No matter how well they communicated the situation at hand, it is extremely unnerving to have a respected surgeon and two other well respected cardiac doctors "report" to the family as they themselves seem to be in shock. Her heart had torn. Not just one but two tears!!! With this complication it is a matter of seconds before the heart "bleeds out"! <br />
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Other unique items to Mom's situation they were shocked about:<br />
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<li>her heart clotted itself...even though she was on lots of blood thinner! This is what saved her and allowed them time to patch the tears.</li>
<li>her heart was healthy enough for "good solid" patch to cover the tears</li>
<li>when she was brought back to life she could answer questions.....not only that but 'chatted' with her cardiac doctor all the way to the surgery suite.</li>
<li>brain, heart, and kidneys continued to function despite the trauma</li>
<li>she was responding to questions as took her off they bypass machine and bringing her out of surgery</li>
<li>that she survived!!!!</li>
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Nothing and no one but God saved my mother!!!!! During the remaining 2 weeks of recovery in ICU all medical staff could not 'explain away' the miracles that we all saw continuously. The whole hospital<span style="font-size: x-small;">(and it is a huge one!)</span> referred to her as "the miracle lady". Many of them would pop in to see her. I will post of those later because it would take hours to recount!!!!!!!!<br />
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This journey to recovery has not been easy but it is still amazing! Yesterday her surgeon explained how awe inducing her survival is. "Heart tears occur usually 3-5 days after a heart attack. They are <strong>very</strong> rare but typically there is only one tear...not two. Only 1-2% of entire population who experience heart attack have a tear.....and actually that is on the high end of the stats. Heart tears are <strong>very</strong> rare. 95% of people who have a tear, do not survive...including those that are in a hospital<span style="font-size: xx-small;">(90% do not even make it to the surgery and only half that do get to surgery survive)</span>. If you had been dismissed and downstairs on your way out, you would not have survived! It is so rare that I maybe see one heart tear a year. Most of them do not survive. That is how serious your situation was......and how amazing sitting with you now is!" <br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">Now, I have been there to witness all of it AND even </span>I still have to take a minute to reread and let his comments sink in!!!! Why do we take God's power and grace for granted? Even when it hits us in the face? All I do know is.....<br />
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<em>.....All powerful, untameable, awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim, You are amazing God......</em> I hope the truth of Chris Tomlin's verse never leaves my heart and mind!<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04029438617756145456noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8152614035766089789.post-72047513492412843922013-11-07T10:20:00.000-06:002013-11-07T10:20:17.218-06:00Grass is always greener......Anyone have the 'grass is always greener on the other side of the fence' syndrome? Have you ever thought "I wish I had that house", "I wish I had that yard", "I wish I had that dress", "I wish I could lose weight", etc. I always viewed it as something innocent and not that big of a deal.<br />
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I find my list always revolving around "I wish I could go to FL to hang with my sister", "I wish I was retired so I could do what I want", "I wish I was married and had my own kids", and "I wish I could get all my projects done". Overall I love my life and am blessed BEYOND what I deserve! I find that when I am tired and overwhelmed that I begin to focus on an escape to my present circumstances. Which in reality is kind of idiotic because "wishing" does not alleviate the exhaustion, rather it only makes me more agitated!<br />
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Ok, so I do have some of the common wish that I could lose weight and look better in my clothes. I recently saw a picture of myself at a family wedding reception dancing the HokeyPokey with my little cousins. All I can say is that Steel Magnolia's quote "<em>Looks like two pigs fightin' under a blanket</em>" instantly came to mind!!!! But I digress! <br />
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What seems innocent enough is a BIG issue to God. In my quiet time He has brought it to my attention that the "grass is greener" purely boils down to covetousness. OOUUCCHH!!! So I knew that I needed to learn more about what He says about coveting because it must be a big deal to God.<br />
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God listed it in His 10 Commandments so that alone tells us it is an important issue. Too often we look at that list as a "control issue" over us but it is not. That list of items is about protecting us from some really bad stuff! That commandment clearly states that we are not to covet anything of someone else's. Notes in my Bible define 'covet' as desiring with an evil motivation. Upon reading that I thought nothing about my wishes are evil...then I realized that my desires are about my control, to live comfortably, and to say that His plan for my life just does not measure up to mine! OK, anything that would separate me from God would be evil and that is truly what my desires would do! Ephesians 5:5 equates it with greed and idolatry. Ps 10:3 informs us that the Lord abhors covetous people. "Abhor" is a very strong word! It is defined in the dictionary as "regard with disgust and hatred". Again OOUUCCHH! <br />
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Another thing that I noticed in my study made me pause. While coveting is not a good practice for anyone, God was most of the time speaking of the importance for His people avoiding it. Several passages refer to those who are saved and sanctified by Jesus but who choose to follow their covetous heart. He states that you are not to keep company with that person. <br />
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Why is it a big issue? <br />
a) it is a choice that seperates us from God<br />
2 Timothy 3:2 "lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God" have a form of godliness but deny <br />
the power thereof, 2 Peter 2:14 habitual choices to put themselves into coveting and/or not <br />
taking it serious enough to damage it causes. It may not seem like such a big deal but that choice <br />
is just the beginning step that leads down a slippery slope towards all sorts of other BIG issues. <br />
Too often in my life I have realized that the little "insignificant" choices are truly the critical <br />
ones....like "oh, I will skip exercising <em>just for today</em>". Ha, we all know where that has led!<br />
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b) it causes damage to others<br />
1 Corinthians 5:10 provide a false testimony of Christ to unbelievers. If we are fretting or <br />
displeased about our lot in life then what would draw others to Him? Our biggest purpose is <br />
same as the disciples in Matthew 28:19-20...teaching others about Him. If we are too focused on <br />
ourselves than we aren't able to do our job.<br />
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c) life is not for our fleshly desires<br />
Luke 12:15 man's life does not consist of 'possessions' because all of it can be gone in an <br />
instant!!! This has all been brought home as I sit here with my mom in ICU...a rare <br />
complication to her heart stint which led to an open heart surgery to repair 2 holes in her heart <br />
of which only 0.5 of 10 people survive! Boy, could I care less about all those previous "I <br />
wish_________" now! <br />
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How fix:<br />
I know that the only thing that helps me is God's Word and a Bible teaching church. Immersing <br />
myself in God's Word steadies my mind and heart no matter what is happening around me. <br />
Colossians 3: 5, 10 When you are going through a life crisis it is <strong>crucial</strong> to be part of a strong <br />
body of believers who offer you support before, during, and after it. One of the ways they support <br />
you is through prayer which will carry you through. The beauty of being a believer is that there is <br />
also a bigger network of prayer warriors out there than you can imagine! I have heard from so <br />
many people/friends who attend other churches about how they are praying fervently for my <br />
mother! Anyone heard the new song "Just Say Jesus" by 7eventh Time Down? Wow, does that <br />
song sum up my praying through this journey!<br />
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But as I said before it is all about choice. Josh 24:15 From the beginning He has always given us <br />
our own way! He wants us to love and trust him wholeheartedly! Isn't that what we all want? Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04029438617756145456noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8152614035766089789.post-67451262099731800532013-08-06T11:21:00.001-05:002013-08-06T11:21:26.110-05:00Tug of WarSo it is officially final.....I will be going back into school today to work on my room. I had hoped to be in there by 9 but I am dragging my feet. I am starting to feel that knot of "needing" to be in 2 places at once! I am finding lots of little things that need attention here while feeling that I need to bite the bullet and leave for my classroom. I hate that "tug of war" feeling!<br />
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Funny how my quiet time in Matthew 16 was about the same topic! Peter is one that I can't wait to meet in heaven because I so can relate to him! His life is an example of the dichotomy of being a Christian. Once you have accepted Christ as your Savior you have the Holy Spirit inside. However, the new you is still surrounded by the flesh...the habits/personality/choices of the person you were prior. Talk about a Tug of War!!!!!<br />
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New Testament has several examples of Peter's tug of war between his spiritual and his flesh. Matthew 16:16 demonstrates Peter having divine knowledge of who Jesus truly was. But yet in a short time<span style="font-size: xx-small;">(vs 21-23)</span> Jesus refers to him as Satan when Peter was acting out of his flesh. Peter was trying to correct Jesus about His near future death. I love how the authors gave us these examples to learn from. How many times have we thought we were a little more than we are and would be able to control an outcome of events? <br />
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Luke 22:31-34 is another similar encounter but combined with Matthew 16:17-19 are a soothing balm to my stressed soul today!!! Jesus knew Peter and that he would definitely screw up AND still prays for him. Not only that He wants Peter to use it to "strengthen the brethren"! Jesus also foretells of Peter's important role in Jesus' ministry spreading. I may never be as important as Peter but I still have a role to play despite how many times I screw up. Plus I need to be vulnerable to use my hurts/mistakes to help others through life.<br />
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I also know that it's up to me to feed the spirit more so it will win MOST of the battles over my flesh! Today was one of those battles and I am really glad I sat down with my Bible before heading to school! I truly needed the lesson on Peter today! So it's 11:20 now and finally time to get up and get to school. At least the knot in my stomach is gone! <br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04029438617756145456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8152614035766089789.post-24546974746443365742013-07-19T11:49:00.003-05:002013-07-19T11:49:58.792-05:00"Thank you" can never be enough!!!This morning I was told my last remaining grandfather died. It instantly brings to mind an old song "Thank You" by Ray Boltz. While I do not agree with Mr. Boltz's current lifestyle/views, his song still is the perfect tribute to a life well-lived for the Lord! "Thank You" talks of a person's entry into Heaven. I know my grandfather's story so I know he is there as I type this. Born to a farmer turned Baptist preacher but in his later teens it was his best friend's father who led him to the saving grace of Jesus.<br />
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Even knowing where Grandpa is, it still is hard! I have been blessed beyond measure by having that man in my life! Growing up all I ever wanted was to be on the farm. Stories of how it had been passed through the generations and even at a very young age I intended to manage it when I grew up. Anywhere Grandpa was you could usually find me...in fact when out at the local feed mill he would proudly introduce me as his 'hired hand'. When I was 7 we moved an hour away for my Dad's new principal/teaching job. Our family made great friends and a great life there. However to me it was not the same as the farm! It never was home! I would go home to the farm every weekend I could. As I got into my preteens I often asked my grandparents to move in with them. This was <strong>not</strong> at all because of conflict with my parents like one might think, rather it was a case of homesickness. After several months of my asking, Grandpa devised a sure fire plan to remedy the situation. He informed my dad that he could not maintain the farm anymore by himself and was going to sell it. "By himself" were the trigger words because he knew my Dad felt the same way I did about the farm and also knew what his response would be at the mention of "selling" the family farm. Yes, we packed up and moved back! That was in the late 70's and thankfully Dad was willing to sacrifice his time to drive 2 hours a day for his education job while coming home to work more hours each night at his love, the family farm. I am convinced that God prompted this plan because it is also what allowed us to keep our farm during our nation's 1980's Farm Crisis. I owe everything I am to my grandfather<span style="font-size: xx-small;">(and my father's sacrifice)</span> for it is this one incident that I can pinpoint which could have made my life go a totally different direction!<br />
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There are countless other ways he impacted my life and others. I learned some of my best life lessons by his life. Lessons that were not just spoken but lived out every day! <br />
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<li>Grandpa valued education highly so much that four of his children went to college and ended up becoming teachers. He also gave his grandchildren money for college whenever possible. </li>
<li>All the grandchildren laughed as he insisted it is truly a privilege to have a job...we would be heard stating "I have to go to_____" and he would restate it "No, you GET to go to ____". In today's uncertain economic times I often hear that conversation played out in my mind anytime I am about to grumble about summer commencing and a new school year starting....he was right then but as an adult who acknowledges God's control I see it better now! </li>
<li>It really is better to give than to receive! Not only was he a great provider for his family but Grandpa would give as much as possible to see others provided for too. His coworkers<span style="font-size: xx-small;">(upon one hailstorm that wiped out a crop, Grandpa took a job at the local Pottery plant so he could pay the farm bills and he continued there until his late 70's)</span> once gave him an award and the plaque read "give the shirt off your back" award. We only saw glimpses of this because Grandpa was an extremely generous man but VERY humble man. He never talked about his role in other's provision. Twenty years ago I was in the hospital when an employee came in to ask me if I was related to him. In that brief conversation I found out that not only did he provide her with a car so she could continue her schooling and leave factory work but she had several other instances of his money used to buy coworkers medicines, food, and college expenses. So many "thank you's" that his ears have heard!</li>
<li>God is faithful and provides! With that came the lessons of differences between a need and a want. His stance was always "God will provide everything we need and often He will bless our wants too". I see the fruit of that wisdom today! Exodus 17:14...."rehearse it in their ears".....the purpose for that is training the generations to trust in God and building their faith. I only pray that I can do this as well as many of their generation did!</li>
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But mostly I thank him for being the perfect model of God's love which pointed everyone he came in contact with to the truth of the redeeming love of Christ. For it was Christ in him that radically changed his life and provided us with a living testimony! For Christ and Grandpa my heartfelt "thank you" can <strong>never</strong> be enough!!! <br />
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Grandpa, until we meet again....Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04029438617756145456noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8152614035766089789.post-69143203637721690142013-07-17T12:47:00.003-05:002013-07-17T12:47:34.102-05:00What's in a name?Wow!!! We are having a scorcher of a day even in the shade! However I am still outside enjoying my almond milk iced mocha and English muffin with orange marmalade. My poor puppy wants to be out but she is a air conditioned diva so she will go in sooner than I. Life is good and God is great!<br />
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I have switched up my Bible reading plan this year. For several years I have used various styles of 'read through in one year' plans. While they are great plans, for me it was becoming more of a check-off on my list to do. I wanted something that would allow me to go deeper and study things out. So I found a great one that is a chapter a day which is estimated to take about 2-3 years. It delivered!<br />
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Often in the Bible we see God changing people's name throughout time. I had never noticed that early in Exodus He changes His own name! Originally, Genesis 17:1, the Isrealites knew Him as El Shaddai which translates to God Almighty. In Hebrew it also means "God, the mountain one". As God was preparing them for deliverance out of Egyptian bondage in Exodus 6:3, He introduces himself as Yahweh meaning dependable, faithful, or 'He is'. Back in chapter 3:14-15 the study notes refer to "I AM" and Yahweh being the same name but the use depends on the speaker. If God is referring to himself than 'I AM' is used but if we are speaking of God than Yahweh or 'He is' needs to be used. This was the name He wished to be known as...faithful, dependable. <br />
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That has had me thinking for over a month! Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob all had specific memorable encounters with God as El Shaddai....much like our 'mountaintop experiences' today. However just as in Exodus, today God still prefers to be known as Yahweh. <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The name that suggests true relationship...'He is' with us always! He was trying to make the Isrealites ready for a long walk with a daily reliance on Him. That brings to mind our daily walk with Him. Sometimes my walk is hot and dusty while other times it is cool and refreshing. Nonetheless He is always there and providing....even when I am too parched to notice and/or appreciate it!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">A daily walk is not promised to be easy! In fact the middle section of Ephesians 6 depicts for us that life is a battle....it also instructs us how to prepare ourselves not only to fight but also to win! Any person in any kind of lasting relationship will tell you it was the hard times that made it grow deeper. I know personally that is true of my relationships and especially of my relationship with God! It will be work but it will produce a depth and a joy beyond what you can imagine!</span><br />
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So which name do you know God by? El Shaddai or Yahweh?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04029438617756145456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8152614035766089789.post-67348881195727872512013-06-28T10:24:00.003-05:002013-06-28T10:24:50.179-05:00Stale AirYou ever walk into a space/building that has been shut up tight and hit a wall of stale air? Hot, musty, nasty air that leaves you running back outside for fresh air? First thing you do is open all the curtains letting in light and opening windows so the fresh air can come in!<br />
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Amidst doing dishes this morning I realized that over last few weeks my quiet time has become nothing more than "stale air". Because of the heat and an illness I have sat inside to do my quiet time which I attribute to the staleness. I am an outdoorsy girl. Let me be in full view of God's wonderful creation when I'm doing my quiet time and all is right!!!!! Even in late fall and early spring I can be found outside wrapped in a blanket! I have a specific area that my BFF refers to as my "Godspot".<br />
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In this spot I have full view of all the creation God has blessed me with....a great home, beautiful yard, and a rich heritage. See across the road is the farm that has been in my family for SEVERAL years/generations. The farmhouse where 3 generations were raised is no longer there but I can still see it in my mind every time I look! The barn and corncrib won't be far behind the house unfortunately but the windmill will stay as long as I have a say!<br />
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So it's time to brave the heat, breathe in some fresh air, and get back to the spot where I meet God daily!!!! My guess is He's going to show me that it's my heart that is full of stale air! ;( The recent <u>Captivating</u> study our church did made me realize I still have some chambers closed off from others. It's time to unlock the door, throw open the curtains/windows and let fresh air in there too....that's going to be harder but necessary!!!!!!!!!!!! <br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04029438617756145456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8152614035766089789.post-59430739166488424292013-05-21T22:45:00.001-05:002013-05-21T22:45:22.893-05:00Rain, Rain Go Away.....actually I am thankful today for the unending rain we've had<span style="font-size: xx-small;">(written 4/21/13)</span>. I so needed a day of hiding! Life is going at a breakneck speed and I need sometime to process things and refocus!<br />
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All this week my quiet time reading has been again in the age old story of Abraham and Sarah<span style="font-size: xx-small;">(Genesis 16-21)</span>. Plus we have started a Bible Study at church on <u>Captivating</u> which has caused me to look at life a little differently. Interestingly I had purposely not read that book because I thought it is fluff...too touchy-feely...and that definitely is not me! ;) <br />
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In Genesis Sarah so desperately wanted her own child that she offered her servant as a surrogate.......upon her plan working she became overwhelmed with jealousy. Her lack of trust caused her to take matters into her own hands. Results of our efforts never work the way we imagine! Trying to control things that were not ours to control! <br />
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This time reading one event stopped me cold<span style="font-size: xx-small;">(Gen 18:10-15)<span style="font-size: small;">.</span> </span>Sarah overheard God stating that in a year she would produce a son. Now being in her 90's she laughed to herself...wouldn't we all?!? What happened next was she had her own face-to-face exchange with the Lord. As I was reading it the most vivid picture played out in my mind. He was looking straight into her eyes as she denied that she laughed. The most penetrating, soul-searching, heart-searing, stare she had ever encountered! His calm, clear voice "Nay, but thou didst laugh."<br />
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Have you ever been on Sarah's end of a stare like that? One friend can wade through the false exterior I put up and can really see my heart. He sees me and knows me better sometimes than I do! It is the most unsettling thing I've ever experienced. While I realize that he is only trying to get me to 'be real', it is the most unsettling feeling ever. Much like Adam in Genesis 3:10 when he discovered he was naked/vulnerable. Interestingly when Satan entices them to eat of Tree of Knowledge that is when fear enters into the newly created world. <br />
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Why the fear? I'm not really sure of the answer to that! For some reason unbeknown to me, I had developed a "trust no one but yourself" attitude. Now that is a TRULY a scary place! Various life events have proven to me that only God knows what is truly best for me....and definitely I do not! <br />
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Trust....the heart of the matter! Sarah should have trusted God. She had a husband who was God's guy and should have trusted him. God was faithful to keep His word<span style="font-size: xx-small;">(Gen 21:1)</span> even when she laughed and lied to His face! How many people do you know would love you if you did that to them? Only He that first loved us. He knows us and loves us anyway!!! <br />
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By the way <u>Captivating</u> is a very interesting book and makes you think deeper about life. Don't trust my opinion, read it for yourself!<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04029438617756145456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8152614035766089789.post-68037895964651017902013-04-08T07:37:00.001-05:002013-04-08T07:37:08.548-05:00Battle weary<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I was reading about Abraham's calling in Genesis 15. God pledges to be Abraham's "shield" & reading this brought to mind Ephesians 6:16 "taking the shield of faith wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked." </div>
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Fiery darts....anyone been feeling overwhelmed by those lately? This has been a really tough few weeks in our school district. Not only the funding crisis that all surrounding districts are facing but recently we've had several tragedies amongst our staff; cancer, brain surgeries, sudden deaths of young teachers. </div>
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In fact I was on my way to visit one of those teacher friends in the hospital when I heard this song again. It put things back into perspective. </div>
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You tired of the battle? Then stop just playing defense and go on the offense. Pick up that sword! <br />
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<em>Ephesians 6:17-18 "And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God: praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints."</em> Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04029438617756145456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8152614035766089789.post-60448322665332800132013-03-16T11:07:00.001-05:002013-03-16T11:07:40.229-05:00just a small seed of doubtI read the most interesting thing in my study Bible this morning! Currently I am in Genesis 3:1 where the serpent asks Eve<em> "Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?"</em> I quote from it's notes "the question and the response changed the course of human history! By causing the woman to doubt God's word, Satan brought evil into the world." At that encounter it was the same world that God had recently created. <br />
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Boy did it ever change history! Eve had the perfect life in that garden.....no weeds, no bugs, no worries! God had provided everything for her so why would she ever allow doubt in? Eve's small seed of doubt planted that day led each and everyone of us into a sinful, hard, painful, unfair life...just by one little doubt. She screwed life up for the rest of us! To be real honest I have always wanted to kick that woman!<br />
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Then another thing popped out in my reading; <em>the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made</em>....God had made the snake! Why had I assumed the snake was Satan's creation? I love my study note Bible!!! It reminded me that Satan, the great deceiver, had only taken on the appearance of a snake. The snake that had been part of the creation in Gen 1:24 and the same part of that creation which God declared as <em>"It was good"</em> in verse 25. It makes me wonder if Satan had tricked the snake into taking a part of this encounter? Because after all the snake had a part of the ensuing curse.<br />
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We think of doubt as normal and inconsequential.....but really it is the tool to alienate us from God. Doubt is just the first step and often leads to a reaction which separates us further. We humans are so easily deceived and often so fainthearted it makes me wonder just what is there about us that God could love? And that is how easy Satan tempts us to doubt!!!! <br />
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And I quickly realize how am I any different than Eve? How many times has a tiny seed of doubt changed my life course? How would my life be different if there had never been moments of doubt & a consequent reaction? Very convicting to me!<br />
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Do you struggle with doubt in your life? The only recommendation I have is to saturate yourself in God's instruction book for life! It is a vital part of maintaining the relationship you started when you accepted Jesus as your salvation<span style="font-size: x-small;">(Romans 10:9)</span><span style="font-size: small;">. The Bible is still as relevant to everyday life as it was when it was originally written! It provides the only hope we have to stand against the deceptions of Satan<span style="font-size: x-small;">(Ephesians 6:10-11)</span>. What better than the sword when you fighting a battle<span style="font-size: x-small;">(Eph 6: 17)</span>?</span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04029438617756145456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8152614035766089789.post-92096367892001087772013-03-15T22:21:00.000-05:002013-03-15T22:21:15.064-05:00a lesson from a dog and her devoted admirerI LOVE spending time with my 3 year old niece. Our personalities are very similar!!! In her "all serious" personality she says the funniest things and reminds me to not take myself so seriously. <br />
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At least once or twice a week she comes out to my parents which is just over the hill from my house. As she has grown up my chocolate lab has always been around and she has become enamored with it. When the dog arrives the 3 yr old becomes the perfect hostess. Picture a 1950's socialite.... <br />
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Over the last few months I have been watching my niece fetch a bowl of fresh water, a handful of Cheez-its, and place all of the "favored toys" of the day at my dog's feet. If there is food and water involved than the dog rewards her with a sloppy kiss which sends her into squeals and giggles! <br />
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However, sometimes the 3 yr old does not have the food and water at her disposal so she just brings the toys as an offering. On those occasions the dog might acknowledge her efforts but usually stares off in indifference as a cold statue might. As I was watching today it struck me that this scene between my dog and my niece was very similar to passages I've been reading when the Philistines would bring their best offerings to the feet of Dagon, a cold statue. Thousands of years ago these people considered a man-made idol as their God. Dagon who was made out of either stone, wood, or metal also stared off in indifference when the loyal subjects presented their sacrifices. <br />
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In 1 Samuel 5 Dagon's true power was demonstrated when face to face with the Living God. As I was pondering all this it made me wonder how often am I barking up the wrong tree with my affections? Yes, pun intended!!! Seriously though, just like my niece I will sacrifice my time, my money, and my attention for many things that I am enamored with. Are my sacrifices pleasing my God or just falling short for some man-made idol? <br />
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And if this insight wasn't firmly planted yet then God wanted to make it clear the next day. My daily reading schedule landed me in 1st John 5:21 which says "Little children, keep yourselves from idols. Amen." Not only is it plainly stated but followed with 'Amen' which is a Hebrew word that means 'firm, sure'. As my dad would put it "I mean business"....which literally doesn't make sense. However when dad said that you knew it was time to do as told and no questions asked or there would be DIRE consequences! I am sensing that's God's take on this matter too! <br />
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So now I need to watch for the teachable moment to explain this to a 3 year old. Prayers are appreciated!<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04029438617756145456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8152614035766089789.post-10315957870743880682013-01-30T10:16:00.000-06:002013-01-30T10:16:17.752-06:00Humor or lessons?<em><span style="font-size: x-small;">I started this blog mid August 2012 but something came up and it didn't get finished. Interestingly it is still relevant today!!!!</span></em><br />
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I am convinced that God does have a sense of humor....and a very fine one at that! Prior to the Alaskan cruise I had been asked if I was going to go on a whale watching excursion and my response was "no, I do not want to recreate Jonah's adventure." The first day at sea I found just the perfect spot on deck for my quiet time, had the perfect cup of tea, sat down and opened up my Bible to my daily reading list.....yes, I was to read the book of Jonah! Thankfully no one was around to hear my instant laughter because they would have thought I was a little nuts. <br />
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Now, just as school is starting I am in Jeremiah. Ironic that as Jeremiah is foretelling the nation's captivity I am personally feeling as if I'm heading to Babylon. I love my job and I love the people I work with so why this attitude? Especially when I've done this for 26 years? <br />
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I can break most things down into it's necessary steps to accomplish the end goal. Once I understand it in it's parts I'm pretty effective at communicating to others how to attain that end goal so it makes me pretty good at teaching. This trait can also hold me hostage when reality doesn't cooperate with my desired timeline! Any change (good or bad) can send me into a tailspin of stress! Just an example of how absurd it is: going on a trip causes LOTS of stress. On top of trying to finish a project before I leave and pack, I'm typically stewing about the "what ifs....?" You would have thought I had been a Boy Scout with the level I take "always be prepared".<br />
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Twelve years ago I was face to face with a surgeon who told me that my stress would kill me if I didn't get something figured out. I read a definition once that basically stated stress was ' perception of having control over something you <strong>truly</strong> have no control over'. That was a true smack in the face as I realized I was in a wrestling match with God over control of my life. Really, I would know what was best for me over the one who could create a human from dust? Jacob tried it and he limped the rest of his life! It didn't happen over night but I began to learn how to trust God and not myself.<br />
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So the last few days I have really been searching myself as to "why"? Why can't I enjoy the moment rather than get so wrapped up in the steps to get from A to Z? Why do I allow myself to become obsessed by the steps(to do's) and ignore the people? <br />
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Then a still small voice spoke "boils down to control". Wow, is that true? I hate to admit that after ridding my heart of 'self controlling' that I am finding there are still puddles of it lurking! Yes, God created my personality but He did not intend it for the extremes that I had taken it...again! <br />
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The last thing I wanted was to go backwards so I talked with a friend. She gave me great advice- set specific boundaries and accountability. In my reading came another great piece of advice from God himself....<em>Jeremiah 29:7</em> <em>And seek the peace of the city whither I have caused you to be carried away captives, and pray unto the Lord for it: for in the peace thereof shall ye have peace. </em> <br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">1/30/13 </span>Prayer....seeking the peace of my 'city' <span style="font-size: xx-small;">(my school) </span><span style="font-size: small;">. There is a novel idea....and yes sarcasm is intended! Sometimes I can be really dense on the most obvious answers! </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">I had started off the year doing well in this area but obviously had gotten sidetracked...hence my October postings. It was good to reread this and remind myself what is the most important thing. Contrary to my leanings the tests sitting on my desk to be analyzed, the files that need reorganized, the reports still to do, or the comparison study of two Word Study programs are NOT the important things! It is one thing only....prayer. Prayer for the fellow teacher who just had a major surgery, prayer for the administrators who in our state have an impossible task, and prayer for the <strong>many </strong>students who have childhoods that I can't begin to wrap my mind around. That is why He has placed me there!</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04029438617756145456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8152614035766089789.post-22747195285749230292013-01-03T15:51:00.000-06:002013-01-03T15:51:07.388-06:00Honor thy parents....Over the last month I've been spending lots of time with my parents. We drove nonstop to Florida for Thanksgiving. Then we were making a dress-up closet for my niece's Christmas present. This last two weeks found us with a remodeling project in my kitchen to make a new refrigerator fit where the old one died. Spending time with my parents is typically met with much laughter.... and the occasional grumbling.<br />
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Today's quiet time was on Paul's second letter to the Corinthians(12:14-15). Paul's statement about parents being ready to "be spent" for their children made me think of my parents. Everyone should be so fortuanate to have parents like mine!!!!! My dad turned 70 when we were in Florida. He spent the entire time painting interior rooms and putting together furniture that was bought for my sister's house. My mom unpacked boxes, marathon shopped for household items, made a full Thanksgiving meal in a semi-ready kitchen, and put up my sister's new Christmas tree.<br />
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Paul's latter statement in verse 14 left me pondering my treatment of my parents. Do I honor them or do I take them for granted? Far too often I have to admit that I took them for granted! Exodus 20:12<br />
commands us to "honor thy father and thy mother". My King James study Bible notes that "honor" means to prize highly(Prov 4:8), care for(Ps 91:15), show respect for(Lev 19:3, 20:9), and obey(Eph 6:1).<br />
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While I am not perfect at this honoring thing, I have noticed a change in my attitude towards them over the last few years. I am more giving up my rights, wants, and wishes for theirs. I am realizing just what they gave up for me!<br />
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While reading this passage I was also struck by the parallels of my relationship to my parents and my relationship to God....understanding their love/sacrifice and God's love towards us! He sacrificed his son, Jesus Christ, just so I(and you too) may live. I have eternal life because of that and that only! <br />
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As well, I am beginning to see the parallel of my "honor" for my parents to my "honor" towards God. As I prize highly, care for, show respect for, and obey my parents I am also doing the same to God. Or is it that as I understand the depths of His love for me and begin to honor God with my life that I become better at honoring my parents? If I had to answer that right now I think is yes because of 1 John 4:19.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04029438617756145456noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8152614035766089789.post-53250183734062618142012-10-27T14:54:00.001-05:002012-10-27T14:56:57.319-05:00Part 2: Stress....or Blasphemy?A stressful couple of weeks culminated in me at home yesterday with a migraine. In my blog I was sharing my favorite definition of stress and it's impact in my life. Remember when I mentioned my support group would show me if there are other deeper issues that needed rooted out? Well God delivered during my quiet time this morning!!!!<br />
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Matthew 12:31-32 jumped off the page at me in a way that left me searching for more. What exactly is 'blasphemy' and why would it be forgiven to blaspheme Jesus but not the Holy Ghost? <br />
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In my KJV study Bible it notes that the main issue was attributing Jesus' miracles as Satan's power rather than from the true source. Further search of other verses and notes suggest that the unpardonable sin is when you are attributing power/control to anything other than Holy Spirit. It also states in Mark 3:29 that it puts you in danger of eternal damnation. <br />
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As I'm reading it makes me wonder if that is the same thing I've been doing.....attributing control for my life to me rather than with God's Holy Spirit which indwells a person upon trusting Jesus for your salvation. Why is it that we as humans trust Jesus for salvation but then often want to take back the reigns soon after we handed them over? Still not sure about the definition of blasphemy or why Holy Spirit takes precedence over Jesus, I grabbed my Zondervan's Handbook of the Bible and Smith's Bible dictionary. <br />
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Zondervan's points out that Jesus's miracles were not about demonstrating his power. Rather the true intent was about him pointing people to the truth of God's Kingdom. While our fleshly viewpoint of "kingdom" involves power and wealth, God's kingdom is about mercy and empowering ordinary, weak people just like us to live according to His will. Jesus speaks of all this in John 14-16. The Holy Spirit's role is to dwell within us, comfort us, teach us and bring God's Word to remembrance when time is right. Reproving the world of sin is another important duty.....however, that can only occur through the believers whom He has been actively working in. <br />
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Smith's definition of 'blasphemy' starts off with "speaking evil of" but continues on with other explanations. It was the last statement in that paragraph that really hit home. According to that definition blasphemy is "a state of willful, determined opposition to God and Holy Spirit that no efforts will avail to lead to repentance." <br />
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So are my "control issues" stress or good old fashioned blasphemy? Am I attributing blessings/changes to anything or anyone other than God? Do I live with even the slightest bit of willful opposition to God and Holy Spirit? I really hate to even answer those questions!!!!! And essentially since actions too often speak louder than words am I pointing others to self-control or God's control? Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04029438617756145456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8152614035766089789.post-11969242453428494382012-10-26T11:22:00.004-05:002012-10-26T11:22:57.144-05:00StressHi, I'm Sherri and I am an obsessive Type A personality!<br />
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Does it sound like I'm at a support group? That's very close to the truth right now! I am a K-1 Reading Specialist who takes it personally when I can't a) meet the needs of a 200+ building, b) help 14 teachers take on new curriculum/assessment tasks, c) have an organized classroom, d) have an organized house/yard, e) estimate my time constraints, f) be "perfect", g) etc. For several years I vowed "this year is going to be better!" Well, "this year" never came! <br />
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.....until this year. This summer I realized that my life was creating havoc with my relationships, creating havoc with my health, not allowing me to create new relationships, and not being the joyfilled believer that God intended. A few years back I read a definition of stress that stated "the perception that you can control something in which you truly have no control over". Wow, that stopped me dead in my tracks because it is so true. We often think we are "in control" but truly we are not! Can anyone human control the weather, illness, death, etc? Only God can control those things. The stressed out Sherri comes when I forget that!!!!<br />
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So at the beginning of this school year I put some physical boundaries in my life that helped immensely. Also I put an accountability partner into place who checks in periodically. This woman is bold and can be brash but that is what I need....and above all I know what she says is out of love! God is so serious about this change that he has placed her in a position in my school district & placed her in the next door office about once a month! <br />
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Life had been going really well for about 8 weeks. School was getting a little more demanding but that's to be expected occasionally...especially around report card time. Last two weeks a couple early meetings and a new thyroid medicine was throwing off my schedule so I missed a few appointments with God and His word. Then a few "I really need to get in early to finish_________" or "Innkeeper's run before work is sounding really good" and back down the slippery slope I went!!!!!! <br />
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Fast forward to this week of being back into my morning quiet time but VERY cranky and critical. I've reinstituted those boundaries that had waned. I even quarantined myself in bed with a good book two evenings and on another went to hang out with my neice which are all things that usually help me readjust bad moods but nothing worked. At first I blamed the lack of sleep and thyroid med which has mood changes listed as a side effect. Then there are the really bizarre "good vs evil" dreams. Truth be known I have just switched my unrealistic school expectations to home, have overcommitted myself, and am trying to control things again rather than allow some projects to be on back burner.<br />
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I woke up this morning with my neck knotted up, head pounding, and the urge to throw-up. My roomate noted 'of course you have a migraine. you are beginning to whir yourself up again'. My paraphrase but she was right. No matter what external boundaries I put in place it's an internal issue as well! For me it's a matter of making anything a priority over my morning time with God. If there is something else that I need to put in place I'm sure my support group will tell me! ;P Truthfully I am extremely thankful for those women who know me so well and aren't shy about telling me what they think! Without them I'd hate to think of where I'd end up!<br />
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<em>Sidenote: I have to tell you something my neice is doing. She is a 2.5 yr old version of me....which is quite entertaining at least to me. To her mother...well, that could be a different story! She has had a language delay and is just now saying my name. Even though she can say "sh" she pronounces my name as "Harry". Of course those close would say she's calling me "Hairy" but they are wrong! "Harry" was my great grandfather's name whom died much too young! Even though he died when I was around 5 yrs old he left his impact on me for life and I still miss him! Mom always tells of when I was beginning to talk how Grampa Schweitzer would do something just so he could hear me mimic my great grandma's exasperated "Oh, Harry!" I wish my younger<span style="font-size: x-small;">(10+ years)</span> male cousins had experienced him in their lives. They would have loved all the time spent at G'pas Lake! So my neice can call me "Harry" all of her life because I see that nickname as an honor!</em>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04029438617756145456noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8152614035766089789.post-51537120570164810032012-08-09T09:03:00.000-05:002012-08-09T09:03:21.895-05:00When life is a blur in the rearview mirror.....Do you ever wake up and feel so <strong>very disconnected</strong> from your own life? Has every good thing in your life just become something similar to a task that needs checked off your list? Have you ever had people comment on how wonderful your life seems and you are left wondering 'am I just ungrateful'?<br />
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For instance I was fortunate enough to be invited to go on a free cruise to Alaska a month ago. It was a wonderful 9 days with my sister, cousin, and BFF filled with lots of laughter and new views of God's creation. However, two days ago my best friend and I were talking that we feel as if that much anticipated trip was nothing more than a distant blur and had just became "one more thing" on our task list. Imagine a free Alaskan cruise being likened to mowing the lawn?!?! We also talked about how incredibly busy we had become and often times we each felt as if the life had been sucked out of us and we were just going through the motions of life. Even our quiet time with God was feeling that way.<br />
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Later in the day as I was taking a break from a yard project in sweltering heat, I sat down with a glass of ice water and the June issue of Proverbs 31 magazine. <em>Have I mentioned how incredibly busy this summer has been, yet? ;)</em> Upon starting Hester Christensen's article on rest, I scoffed to myself "ha, who has time to rest?" but I continued to read. She had me at her 5th sentence when she stated life is not meant to be "like an exhausting game of leapfrog, jumping from one thing to the next." Wow! Prior to my conversation with my best friend that is exactly what I was thinking my summer had become. For a second I even wondered had Mrs. Christensen been secretly sitting in on our conversation? <br />
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As a several generations "farmer's daughter" anything written from a context of farming speaks to my heart. As a youngster I remember our family still practicing God's plan of leaving fields to rest. Having lived in a society that tells you the opposite "produce, produce, produce" I am seeing the wisdom of following God's plan....especially when it doesn't seem 'logical'!!!!! Soil can be "burnt out" of it's vital nutrients if not allowed to rest....much like us. Mrs. Christensen included a self-evaluation list to determine if your in danger of burn-out. I found myself answering 'yes' to more than I want to admit! <br />
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<u>Fallow Ground</u> was a good wake up call to the true issues in my life......"the gospel cannot take root in our lives when we are choked by busyness, selfish pursuits, and worries." If you too are feeling like life is a blur then please go to <a href="http://www.proverbs31.org/">www.proverbs31.org</a> and locate this article. Or go to her site at <a href="http://www.hesterchristensen.com/">www.HesterChristensen.com</a> Believe me when I say the time will be well spent!<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04029438617756145456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8152614035766089789.post-32738520898300752622012-07-06T11:24:00.004-05:002012-07-06T11:24:53.816-05:00Joys(?) of GardeningGardening has proved to be great way to relax and sort through things in my mind. I have been known to refer to it as "dirt therapy". However, on a few occasions it's not fun or therapeutic! <br />
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When it is blistering hot is one occasion. We've been experiencing such for over a week but today is a little worse for there is no breeze. The majority of my garden work areas are shaded for a part of the day because of my grandparent's forethought in planting lots of trees 49 years ago. Unfortunately prior to my buying the property, the yard was unattended for about 10 years as they were caring for my great grandmother. Many a time in the middle of my "recapturing the yard" projects I am just tempted to give up and call "uncle"!!!!!!! During one of those early episodes I had stumbled upon II Samuel 5:22-25 where David is inquiring of the Lord how to fight a battle. God's statement was to wait until he heard the breeze moving the tops of the trees which would be God going into battle before him. <strong>Every</strong> time I want to give up it never fails there is a slight rustling of leaves that reminds me that I can persevere through Him!<br />
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Let me tell you of the other occasion.... but in order to do that I need to back up a bit. One beautiful October Saturday I decided to spend it reading on my brick patio. Later in the afternoon I felt something very light on my eyelid so I brushed it off. Whatever it was bit me and I immediately began to swell. My eye, cheek, and one nasal passage swell almost shut. ER and my Dr didn't know what it was but did require me to carry a epi-pen. Six months later the same thing got me when I was out walking my dark chocolate lab. This time it was just on my cheekbone and it was slightly swollen. By the next morning a rash had emerged. In another day it turned into lots of weeping pus pockets that would not go away so I was sent to allergist. He got it healed up after many visits and medicines.<br />
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We decided that I needed to do a full out allergen test since this had been twice in six months with severe reactions. Weirdly I had a few random hives but not on the area that was inflicted. After a week of the common allergens test patches on my back, nothing happened. My allergist believes that it is tied into recent vitamin D deficiency and thyroid changes which in turn causes me to be hypersensitive. How frustrating! <br />
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So back to my other 'gardening is not fun' occasion....because we had little to no winter we are having a very buggy summer! Between the bugs and allergic reactions, I'm not finding gardening as relaxing as usual. However, I may have come up with a way to fix that....so if you drive by Gottadew Gardens and see a lady with a beekeeper's hat on, please wave hello!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04029438617756145456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8152614035766089789.post-32172648580316994082012-06-18T14:01:00.003-05:002012-06-18T14:01:54.275-05:00Backyard Lessons from a 2 year oldLast week I saw something that got me to thinking.... I was in the backyard with my sister and my neice showing them the tomatoes I had just planted. While we were looking intently at the garden, my brother in law was walking down the hill towards us and called his daughter's name. My neice stopped cold upon hearing her father's voice calling her name. Her 2 yr old head snapped up and immediately began searching the backyard for him. After a minute or so he was in view and those little feet ran into him with arms open wide...squealing the whole way! <br />
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The next morning during my quiet time I was still laughing at the memory. Then a thought hit me that it was a great picture of what anyone should do when they hear God calling. Someday that will be me when I hear Jesus calling my name! Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04029438617756145456noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8152614035766089789.post-39948905753323367052012-06-05T17:04:00.002-05:002012-06-05T17:04:48.590-05:00So why "Gottadew Gardens"?Well, it is a combination of two things. I like the sound of the word 'grotto' and an ideal type of garden I'd love to have. But mostly because keeping up with an acre yard there is <strong>always </strong>something that you "got to do". I don't think my "got to do" list will ever run out! Still I'm fortunate enough to have land that has been in my family for several years, gorgeous flora that was planted by my great grandmother, a house my grandparent's built right before I was born, and the summers off to take care of it all. <br />
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It's not exactly like I dreamed all those years ago <span style="font-size: x-small;">(at 8)</span> when I announced to the family that when my grandparents sold their place I was going to buy it! I sure don't remember there being the weeds, bugs, or snakes! I do have the beloved cottage but it is without the husband and 5 kids. Regardless of that God has been abundantly good to me! My parents and another aunt/uncle have built houses on the farm so family/kids abound all around me. Plus my church family is rich with young families who are more than willing to lend out any child I might feel the need to entertain for the day!<br />
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Speaking of entertaining children, this will be the 5th year of Camp Sherri. It started when friends bought a house and discovered that it really needed a <strong>major</strong> overhaul. At the time they had 3 young children all under the ages of five so I decided the best way I could help was to take the oldest two to my house once a week to play. We had some fun craft projects but basically just chased the dog around the yard. They dubbed it "Camp Sherri". Not only did the moniker stick but enrollment grew as my cousins kids began coming the next summer. It began with two children and currently is up to seven. It will continue to expand as my extended family have their own. Every year I think I'm going to get more detailed but often the kids come up with the schedule and I just supervise. However, this year I am incorporating my great grandfather's camp tradition of "rest time". We never really napped but rather laid in bunks laughing while grandma told stories. I imagine Camp Sherri's rest time will be more of the same. <br />
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By November I begin to hear "I can't wait till Camp Sherri again". I still don't get what the appeal is...but what fun memories they will have to tell their kids or those they live to influence! Maybe one day one of them will take over Gottadew Gardens and start their own! ....and really, isn't that what it's all about? <br />
Deuteronomy 6:7Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04029438617756145456noreply@blogger.com2