Hi, I'm Sherri and I am an obsessive Type A personality!
Does it sound like I'm at a support group? That's very close to the truth right now! I am a K-1 Reading Specialist who takes it personally when I can't a) meet the needs of a 200+ building, b) help 14 teachers take on new curriculum/assessment tasks, c) have an organized classroom, d) have an organized house/yard, e) estimate my time constraints, f) be "perfect", g) etc. For several years I vowed "this year is going to be better!" Well, "this year" never came!
.....until this year. This summer I realized that my life was creating havoc with my relationships, creating havoc with my health, not allowing me to create new relationships, and not being the joyfilled believer that God intended. A few years back I read a definition of stress that stated "the perception that you can control something in which you truly have no control over". Wow, that stopped me dead in my tracks because it is so true. We often think we are "in control" but truly we are not! Can anyone human control the weather, illness, death, etc? Only God can control those things. The stressed out Sherri comes when I forget that!!!!
So at the beginning of this school year I put some physical boundaries in my life that helped immensely. Also I put an accountability partner into place who checks in periodically. This woman is bold and can be brash but that is what I need....and above all I know what she says is out of love! God is so serious about this change that he has placed her in a position in my school district & placed her in the next door office about once a month!
Life had been going really well for about 8 weeks. School was getting a little more demanding but that's to be expected occasionally...especially around report card time. Last two weeks a couple early meetings and a new thyroid medicine was throwing off my schedule so I missed a few appointments with God and His word. Then a few "I really need to get in early to finish_________" or "Innkeeper's run before work is sounding really good" and back down the slippery slope I went!!!!!!
Fast forward to this week of being back into my morning quiet time but VERY cranky and critical. I've reinstituted those boundaries that had waned. I even quarantined myself in bed with a good book two evenings and on another went to hang out with my neice which are all things that usually help me readjust bad moods but nothing worked. At first I blamed the lack of sleep and thyroid med which has mood changes listed as a side effect. Then there are the really bizarre "good vs evil" dreams. Truth be known I have just switched my unrealistic school expectations to home, have overcommitted myself, and am trying to control things again rather than allow some projects to be on back burner.
I woke up this morning with my neck knotted up, head pounding, and the urge to throw-up. My roomate noted 'of course you have a migraine. you are beginning to whir yourself up again'. My paraphrase but she was right. No matter what external boundaries I put in place it's an internal issue as well! For me it's a matter of making anything a priority over my morning time with God. If there is something else that I need to put in place I'm sure my support group will tell me! ;P Truthfully I am extremely thankful for those women who know me so well and aren't shy about telling me what they think! Without them I'd hate to think of where I'd end up!
Sidenote: I have to tell you something my neice is doing. She is a 2.5 yr old version of me....which is quite entertaining at least to me. To her mother...well, that could be a different story! She has had a language delay and is just now saying my name. Even though she can say "sh" she pronounces my name as "Harry". Of course those close would say she's calling me "Hairy" but they are wrong! "Harry" was my great grandfather's name whom died much too young! Even though he died when I was around 5 yrs old he left his impact on me for life and I still miss him! Mom always tells of when I was beginning to talk how Grampa Schweitzer would do something just so he could hear me mimic my great grandma's exasperated "Oh, Harry!" I wish my younger(10+ years) male cousins had experienced him in their lives. They would have loved all the time spent at G'pas Lake! So my neice can call me "Harry" all of her life because I see that nickname as an honor!